A Shift in Emphasis

by xparavox

When I started this blog not long ago, I wanted to entertain a broad scope of topics, all somewhat “alternative” in nature. These would cover themes of mysticism, philosophy and what I would consider to be a more moderate version of  “conspiracy” views, which I don’t classify as mere “theory” by the way. I was going to open another blog for specifics on my work in esoteric cultivation, influenced by paths from all over the world, but with focus on yoga,  alchemy, energy work, hermetic, animistic and other applications of what I would call esoteric possibility.

I have been to varying degrees involved in different expressions of esoteric cultivation, study and application over the last thirty years. Even if I am anything but official in that regard, I am still discerning enough to know when my experience might actually be of interest if not value to someone out there. In fact, I have met people who tried out some of what I have discovered and applied and most of the results were positive.

I am being conservative in my assessment by the way. A decade ago I used to offer advice in a systematic manner, and it was taxing, time consuming and thankless. I did this for a period of two or three years, and then just focused on sharing with a few friends instead of a gaggle of “students”. Whatever else the experience may have been, it was definitely educational in more ways than one.

Right now I am in a time of transition regarding what to do with this knowledge and experience. I found that just giving it away has two drawbacks for others: First, contrary to objections some may have to this, I found a majority of people tend to lack appreciation for what’s free. It’s taken for granted. There’s no point in sharing when that happens. Second, giving something without compensation is a drain on my life. At first I thought I could just talk or write freely, but this kind of knowledge is not easy to get. I need to map things out better. That cannot happen with an all-consuming “day job” as my former (physics) position was. Not that I am knocking it or the PhD I had to get to have such a position.

I say that, by the way, in the spirit of paradox. I have taught, and I have done scientific research, and I have even published some things. Lot’s of I’s, I know (there’s another one). It’s important to me to be honest though and this particular post is more personal than others. In any case, I am not putting eggs in baskets and such. One cannot offer anything constructively if the primary motive is to bring home the bacon or daily bread or whatever keeps one fed, sheltered and alive materially. I am moving according to my sense of meaning, and this is a record of that intent, not a justification.

For now I will continue to formulate, organize and express freely. At some point I want to open venue’s where I will be “selling” something. It won’t be enlightenment or bliss or the solution to whatever plagues a given individual. I will endeavor to sell treasure maps, with directions and some pointers on how to read them. Perhaps at some point I may even end up providing private consultation. I don’t know yet. All I know is that I value realism regarding topics that the majority of the population in the western world considers to be bogus (at least officially).

In most cases one has to be some sort of credited somebody in alignment with institutionalized teaching and traditions, or at least a respectable history of such, in order to claim or be viewed as having understanding worth sharing. I cannot blame that particular view- the more conservative one. I have seen too many cons and even more folks who think that esoteric knowledge and application is “for them”, when they are less than qualified. That doesn’t mean every case is like that.

It can be confusing, and it was for me. I avoided all teacher types aside from reading about them and choosing what to apply for myself every step of the way. It was a long road, but my basic premise was that the real teacher and guide is within. The rest are options that inner teacher points out as valid for me or not. Of course  the inner voice was far more difficult to discern at first, and mistakes were made, but all for the good as it were.

My point is that I have been very reluctant to take this path of commitment to present what I know and what it means to me because a) it needs more than just being a hobby, and b) there are so many bad examples out there I did not want to drown in a sea of them regardless of not being one- in my own view, of course.

What does my “guidance” say? Actually, it’s very pragmatic: “Just be true to your sense of integrity and purpose, and know that the right time is when you feel it is”. Well, I am not sure if the right time is anything but a prolonged period, but I am getting that feeling about being ready to get things moving. And whatever else anyone may think, I have no intention of compromising my sense of integrity and purpose.

Ok…now that I got that off my chest…we can see where this will go…Stay tuned :-).